Walk This Way

So, the company I work for participates in the Virgin Health Miles program. As a result, a bunch of us have been wearing pedometers provided by the program. As a participant, you get paid by racking up pedometer steps by walking, running, or other forms of exercise. In addition, you can set up challenges to spice things up a bit.

A co-worker and I started up a one-on-one challenge with the goal of putting up as many steps as we could in two weeks. To make a long story shorter, on the final day before we left work we both checked in. I had slacked a bit in the last couple days and I was down over 11,000 steps. I could either give up or just go for a win.

The contest would end at midnight, so at around 9pm, I did 7 miles (some jogging and mostly walking) and checked in my steps. I found that I was up about 2000 steps. I figured it may have been enough, but I wasn't too sure. You're allowed to check-in the previous days miles the next day for challenge purposes. And, I had no idea whether or not my opponent might have put up some real numbers in the final hours as well.

Anyway, with about ten to fifteen minutes until midnight, I decide what the heck, let me run up and down my stairs for five more minutes. I racked up another 500 or so steps, and checked them in. And, that was that.

Today, I find myself a victor by a final margin of... 79 steps! I don't know how much closer you can get when the totals are in the 135K range. Pretty funny. My co-worker was not amused. She can't even look at my face right now. I have to watch out now though as I'm sure she and others in the office will no longer be slacking in the final hours of any future challenge.

Snail Mail Nigerian Scam

I guess this scammer didn't get the memo highlighting the cost-effectiveness of using e-mail, as opposed to snail mail, when running the Nigerian Scam. I've gotten tons of these types of letters in e-mail form, but this here is a first.

Toll Free Humor

So, I had sent a message to APMEX (American Precious Metals Exchange) just to get some confirmation information from them. One of their representatives called me and left me voice mail message with a number to reach him.

That number was 800-375-9006. Due to my illegible scribbling of this number, I wound up calling 800-325-9006. Don't you hate how a 7 with a trail leading to a 5 can look like a 2?

Let's just say that you don't want to call the same number that I did on a speaker phone especially if you're at work. It's some sort of sex/porn line with no opening message or anything. It just goes straight to sounds and dirty talk. Needless to say, I was initially shocked until I realized that it was likely that I had dialed the wrong number.

The More You Know

For the most part, those that are reading this are American. This post is intended for that audience.

We all know that fanny is a slang term for the butt. It's not vulgar, and it is often used as a non-offensive substitute for any of the less appropriate words describing a butt. But, let me ask this... how many of you know that the word fanny means something completely different in British and Australian slang?

In the UK and Australia, fanny is a rather vulgar term referring to female genitalia. I'm a bit shocked that there's such a striking difference in their meaning. Also, in case you were wondering, don't call that bag you wear strapped around your waist a fanny pack if you are ever traveling in those countries. Understandably, they have different names for it. Call it either a hip pack or a bum bag.

I just learned of this yesterday, and I felt it was my duty to make this public service announcement. I'm surprised that I've never come across it before. I should get out more and learn me some culture.

Unintentional Traffic Humor

So, I was sitting in some minor traffic yesterday on my way to work when I glanced at my rear view mirror. I had to do a double take when I saw a female driving the car behind me that had a vulgar word for a part of the female anatomy pasted across its windshield. I turned around quickly to learn that she was apparently a Looney Tunes fan.

The full message was: I TAWT I TAW A PUDDY TAT!

Due to the symmetry of the individual letters, TAWT sure does look funny in a mirror. I wonder if this ever crossed her mind before she put the stickers on her windshield... my guess is not.

Edgar Allen Poker Poe-try

This is just too good not to share. Before you can fully appreciate the awesomeness contained in this poem and its reading, you need to know a bit about the history of Bing Blan Blaow. Some time earlier this year, some online poker player named ch3ckraise created a song that he would copy-and-paste into the chat box whenever he took his opponent's money in a head-up match.

It went like this, and somehow it got popular (a Google search gets over 400,000 hits on the exact search phrase). Just a silly, silly thing to say.

ch3ckraise: BING BLANG BLAOW
ch3ckraise: CH3CK RAISE IN THA HOUSE
ch3ckraise: I JUST WON $50.00 FROM YOU
ch3ckraise: U COULD HAVE USED IT TO BUY SOME FOOD
ch3ckraise: BUT YOU CANT NOW
ch3ckraise: CUZ IMMA CASH IT OUT
ch3ckraise: AND RUB IT ON MY TITT1ES

The original song can be found on YouTube here: Bing Blang Blaow.

But, this poetic interpretation is pure genius.

Math Joke for Today

I saw this math joke on someone's Facebook, and I thought it was pretty good. Here it is. Enjoy!

A bunch of functions are hanging out at a bar. There are trigonometric functions, logarithmic functions, polynomials, all different kinds of functions just hanging out and drinking. Suddenly the door flies open and a differential walks in. The functions are all terrified. Some dive behind the bar, some jump out of the windows, and others hide under their tables. Everybody is generally trying to get the hell away from this differential.

However, there's this one function that just sits calmly at the bar sipping his drink. The differential walks up to him and says "What is this? You should fear me like everyone else. Why aren't you running away?" The function shoots the differential a nasty look and replies, "I am e^x, bitch! You can't touch me." The differential just looks at him and says, "Who said I differentiate with respect to x?"

Mudd #1 at Victoria's Secret Site

Well, the West Dormers at Harvey Mudd College have pulled off a prank on Victoria's Secret's Nominate Your School page. The Mudd ranked #1 with all the fake votes, and the next 6 schools conveniently spell out WIBSTR. Awesome.

Here's a link to a story about it: Harvey Mudd 1, Victoria's Secret 0.

KFC vs El Pollo Loco

Well, I did go and redeem my free Grilled Chicken Meal from KFC today, and I was pleased with it. I liked it, and I'd probably order it again. However, I think I still prefer El Pollo Loco for the grilled chicken. I was looking up what others thought about it, and then I came across this advertisement from El Pollo Loco, which I found highly entertaining only because of how poorly the KFC corporate guys did with pretending to be someone else. El Pollo Loco makes a really good point about "Highway 5." Ha ha. Enjoy.

ShamWow Update

I'm sure you have all seen the ShamWow commercial. Here it is to refresh your memory.



And, you have probably heard that the guy was recently arrested for beating up some prostitute after she bit his tongue and wouldn't let go... details here.

Anyway, here's the updated commercial.

Elite Apple Trader

So, I was just looking at T&S data for afterhours trading in Apple (AAPL) and saw something funny...

18:27 $ 88.94 440
18:27 $ 88.95 100
18:11 $ 88.63 31,337
18:11 $ 88.63 20,901
18:05 $ 88.74 100

At 18:11, there's a trade for 31337 shares. I guess rich people or big traders have a sense of humor too.

Go (Ukrainian) Army

This is at least a couple of years old, but it's new to me. Pretty ridiculous ad for the Ukrainian military.

1. Join Ukrainian Army
2. ???
3. CHICKS!

Pliny

Ok, so JC and I were chatting about names, specifically old names that aren't really used any more, like Mildred or Caldwell. Anyway, at one point in our discussion, I decide to crack a joke of sorts, and I tell her I just thought of an old name... she asks me what name? And, I respond... Pliny. That's a pretty old name. The question that followed though was how many people would get that joke? Initially, I was leaning towards perhaps 25% of the college-educated. She thought I was totally overestimating. So, to settle it, she has posted up a poll... please follow the link and cast your vote: Rowr's Pliny Question

Joke Jokes

So, JC and I whiled away some of our free time last night making up silly jokes. The theme for our new jokes was... jokes. Here are a few of them that I can remember. They're mostly lame, but whatever.

Where do you find the jokes at a party?
In the punch line.

What do you call a pregnant joke?
A belly-buster.

Why do jokes love pizza?
It's all about delivery.

How come the handicapped joke was fired?
He wasn't any good at stand-up.


Now it's time for a couple jokes for the mature audience...

What did one joke tell the other during sex?
Haha, Joke's on you.

What did the joke say to get his woman to swallow?
Don't worry, this joke is tasteless.

Journey of a Dead Skin Ball

Some will find this video clip gross, some others will relate to it, and others yet will find it inspirational. Enjoy.

BSOD at a Gas Station

Not too long ago I found a gas station pump with the Blue Screen of Death. Luckily, I had my camera handy.

Bo Burnham

I suspect that most of you have seen Bo Burnham's videos on YouTube already... he's been putting up videos since 2006 I think. For those of you who haven't, you're really missing out. This kid is talented, and his songs are hilarious. Sure, they're a bit offensive to those who are overly sensitive or to those without any sense of humor, but I just find myself cracking up at his lyrics.

Anyway, here's a taste of his style...

I Know It When I Read It

First, I'm going to say that this is NSFW, but it's pretty tame. Anyway, JC and I were just feeling kind of goofy while chilling over at her place in LA. And, I'm not even sure how it started, but we got to talking about how sometimes adult film companies create titles based on famous works. Titles like Forrest Hump or Intercourse with a Vampire are some examples.

Well, we ended up coming up with a list for the literary aficionado. We decided that we'd start with the Charles Dickens collection for obvious reasons, and here's the list that we came up with. Some are pretty bad, and I wouldn't be surprised if some of them have actually been used before.

• A Tale of Two Titties
• David Cop-a-Feel
• Oliver Fist
• Great Sexpectations
• A XXX-mas Carol

And, there's one Dickens' work that needs no alteration at all... Hard Times -- For These Times. Okay, that's it for now... maybe next time we'll tackle the works of James Joyce or maybe Oscar Wilde.

West Is Best Screw The Rest aka WIBSTR

I was down in LA over the weekend... more on that in a future post.

Anyway, while I was down there, Day 2 of the College Jeopardy Finals was aired. A young kid from Harvey Mudd College named Andrew Chung had made it to the finals. (Congratulations!)

By the time they got to the very last question, I guess he had drawn a blank and was resigned to the fact that he would be coming in third place, so instead of giving a real answer (err, question), he submitted a shout-out to HMC's West Dorm. For the curious, here's a link to HMC dorm descriptions.


All I can say is... that's just awesome.

Even more awesome than this Mudder's 15 seconds of fame.

Index Card Fun

I saw this on Josh's blog, and it was too awesome not to share. Check out Indexed.

Here's a taste (taken from the Indexed site)...